So on Friday I booked in my c section….
This isn’t something that came as an easy decision. So many discussions with my fiancé regarding how I feel about the fact that I will never get to experience a natural birth, about how I feel almost ripped off and somewhat useless as a woman.
After agonizing over this for some months, I came to the conclusion that I would do anything not to have the same birthing experience as I did with Milena.
Long story short, I was almost 42 weeks with no sign of arrival and after many stretch and sweeps, I got induced. Everything went off with a bang then came to grinding halt. Screaming for an epidural (which, when I went in,was dead against having) sealed my fate. I reacted well, too well. Her heart rate bottomed out and I was off for an emergency c-section. I was promptly put to sleep and woke up in recovery with no baby.
It was 2 hours before I got to met my bundle of joy. This hurt me the most. I wanted to be the first to hold her, to feel her skin against my own and to hear her cry for the first time. If I wasn’t so drugged up I would have been in tears.
All said and done this was done to save her and protect her from any harm. So for that I am thankful. I’m also thankful for how quick they got her out when she went into distress. 7 minutes! 7 minutes from the time they pushed the emergency button 2 floors up to the time she was out and safe in surgery.
So because of this, the possibility of something happening to me and the fact the doctors were quite against natural, I opted for a planned c-section.
I used to know someone that said having a ‘sunroof baby’ wasn’t really giving birth. This always stuck with me until my own baby’s arrival. Sorry I’d rather my child be safe and alive. This time round I want to keep myself safe and actually get to be the first to hear my baby girl cry and to be the first skin she feels.
Now the count down is on! 4 weeks to go. We can’t wait to meet our newest addition and to give Milena a little sister.