So on Friday I booked in my c section….

This isn’t something that came as an easy decision.  So many discussions with my fiancé regarding how I feel about the fact that I will never get to experience a natural birth, about how I feel almost ripped off and somewhat useless as a woman.

After agonizing over this for some months, I came to the conclusion that I would do anything not to have the same birthing experience as I did with Milena.

Long story short, I was almost 42 weeks with no sign of arrival and after many stretch and sweeps, I got induced. Everything went off with a bang then came to grinding halt. Screaming for an epidural (which, when I went in,was dead against having) sealed my fate. I reacted well, too well. Her heart rate bottomed out and I was off for an emergency c-section.  I was promptly put to sleep and woke up in recovery with no baby.

It was 2 hours before I got to met my bundle of joy. This hurt me the most. I wanted to be the first to hold her, to feel her skin against my own and to hear her cry for the first time.  If I wasn’t so drugged up I would have been in tears.

All said and done this was done to save her and protect her from any harm. So for that I am thankful. I’m also thankful for how quick they got her out when she went into distress. 7 minutes! 7 minutes from the time they pushed the emergency button 2 floors up to the time she was out and safe in surgery.

So because of this, the possibility of something happening to me and the fact the doctors were quite against natural, I opted for a planned c-section.

I used to know someone that said having a ‘sunroof baby’ wasn’t really giving birth. This always stuck with me until my own baby’s arrival. Sorry I’d rather my child be safe and alive. This time round I want to keep myself safe and actually get to be the first to hear my baby girl cry and to be the first skin she feels.

Now the count down is on! 4 weeks to go. We can’t wait to meet our newest addition and to give Milena a little sister.


One thought on “You may know me, but not my story.

  1. Wow your experience was exactly the same as mine!!.but I was put to sleep and didn’t see her til the next day!! It was horrible not being able to hold her or feed her first let alone see her first, so ripped off especially after all the effort of the prior 3 days not to mention 9 months. When I got the choice the second time for a c section I jumped at the chance even with the disappointment of my midwife (it’s a different size baby she said) I didn’t want to take the risk either and when that day came it was amazing, it was so calm and stress free for both myself and my partner and were so united as one that day..We loved every second especially the anticipation of seeing her lil face, and perfect shaped head straight away 😜. Maybe it would have happened that way naturally, but maybe not too.. we even got to drop the car in for a service on the way. Was a win win… I think, being a woman is being able to make the right decisions for you and your family and own it. I hope you enjoy your day as much as we did 😀😀 no regrets here.

    Liked by 1 person

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