I sit here in one of the brief moments where both children are asleep and the house is semi tidy, (there’s so much more to do, but I can see the floor and bench so that’ll do) wondering what to talk about.

One thing that’s been playing on my mind is, that in 6 short weeks I will need to start working again.

What the hell? Where is time going?

I think it’s so hard on mum’s whose partners don’t quite earn enough to keep them at home. And for mum’s whose jobs don’t pay enough to warrant putting their child or children in care and still bring in enough to keep afloat financially.

For one I don’t want someone else bringing up my children. Especially Anya as she will only be 4 months old. Childcare costs are absolutely crazy. Also I don’t want to be working every hour or day that my partner isn’t working. I need family time. These kids grow so fast, I don’t want to miss out on anything. And then the government says we earn too much to give assistance??? Are you kidding me?

So now I’m contemplating my life choices.

I was 16 when I left home with my life packed up in the back of my salmon pink Nissan Sentra. That same day I started my first job at a MITRE 10 Mega. I had given up on school. Got my level 2 and gapped it. It wasn’t for me. I’m a hands on person rather than a sit down at a desk in a class person.

I was paying sweet f all in board at a family friends house and at that point it cost me $30 to fill my car from E light. My god, I don’t get much, if any change out of a hundy now. So at this point I was earning a pretty good wage (for my age and skills) and paying next to nothing for living costs.

Looking back, hindsight’s a bitch, I wish I had studied and worked part time, I wish I hadn’t blown my money like it was going out of fashion. Getting bank loans because I wanted things right now, instead of saving up.

Anyway back to my original point. If I had either stayed at school, studied, saved up my money like a scrooge, got a better job. Would I be able to stay at home with my kids? Would I be able to provide for them the way I really want to? It makes it a bit difficult when you have champagne taste on a beer budget.

It’s hard in this day and age not to have both parents bringing in an income. There are so many things and extra bills that back in the day weren’t around. With wages most definitely not keeping up with inflation, how do you do it? What do you give up in order to make ends meet? With one child it was doable now we have two it’s a whole new ball game.

I am well aware so many other families out there make it work. So I have no doubt that we will too. Yes things will be tight for a couple of years, but I would rather give my children all the love and attention possible while they are so small and developing so fast. I don’t want my babies to remember me never being around when they were young.

As parents and families we do what we think is best and that is all that matters. Something will work for one family and not for the other.

I honestly don’t really know what the point of this post is but it’s been playing on my mind.

Wanting to be the stay at home mum is hard when you can’t really afford it. Sometimes we have to give up things we want to get the things we need.

Hindsight’s a bitch, but it’s never to late to start a new path.

It might be tough but in the end, so worth it.

X

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